Erika Kirk shares reflections on grief year after Charlie’s death, reveals Usha Vance’s advice: ‘Just get through…’

Erika Kirk has opened up about dealing with grief one year after her husband Charlie Kirk’s assassination. She shared her heartbreaking journey in an article titled ‘What I’ve Learned About Grief,’ published by The New York Times.

Charlie, 31, was allegedly shot dead by Tyler Robinson on September 10 during an appearance at a campus event in Utah. The shooting happened around 12:20 pm local time during a student Q&A at UVU in Orem, per a statement from Utah Valley University (UVU).

Erika said of the article in an X post“I wrote this for anyone who has lost someone they love, anyone sitting in grief now, and anyone who someday will.”

She wrote, ““I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” I told the second lady, Usha Vance, earlier that day. As she held my hand, she said: “You know when you’re on an airplane with your kids, and you’re going to land in 15 minutes, but the kids are going crazy, screaming, throwing things, and then the plane lands, and the kids relax, and everything is fine again? That’s how it will be. Just get through the next 15 minutes.””

“I stood in the doorway of our bedroom. I turned on the light and walked toward his side of the bed. I stared at his pillow and wondered how long a person’s scent can last in sheets. I stood there in silence, replaying all of the completely ordinary mornings we woke up there together. I wasn’t ready to be there, so I turned off the light and crawled into bed with my 3-year-old daughter. Just get through the next 15 minutes,” Erika added.

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Erika said that she avoided the bedroom for months, gradually confronting the pain of losing her husband. She also explained how she got through various events after Charlie’s death – his 32nd birthday, her birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and more.

Talking about the fourth birthday of her and Charlie’s daughter, she wrote, “Another wave came as we sang “Happy Birthday” to her. As I sang through it, tears streamed down my face. I hugged my daughter as she blew out her candle. I wished he could’ve seen her. She held my arm and kissed me, and in that moment I realized that she was surviving her own little crashing waves, too.”

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Reflecting on grief, she added, “Grief is universal. It doesn’t care whom you voted for, where you come from or what you believe. Those who have walked through grief know that the waves never completely disappear; they aren’t supposed to. I am learning that grieving Charlie and living life at the same time are part of the rhythm of grief. I can miss him with every part of me and still laugh with our children. I can have a broken heart and still experience joy.”

Turning Point USA said that Charlie had previously expressed he would want his wife to lead in case he died, according to The Guardian. Erika became the CEO of the organization after her husband’s death.