after ten years usA 35-year-old H1-B holder found himself at a crossroads that no amount of career success could solve. After the sudden death of his father, he now becomes the main emotional support for his grieving mother in Hyderabad. However, two previous attempts to move back to India had left him in trouble. In a post on Reddit, he shared that he now faces a heartbreaking choice: preserve his mental health and American career, or return to a lifestyle where he can no longer care for his mother.
“I’m torn between H1-B career and moving back to India to support my grieving mother,” Reddit the user wrote.
Explaining his situation, the NRI wrote: “I am a 35-year-old single male on H1-B who has lived in the United States for 10 years. My father recently passed away due to a sudden heart attack. My mother is completely dependent on him and is currently in the United States with me on a visitor visa, but her 6-month stay is coming to an end.”
He continued: “I have brothers and sisters in the United States, but I have always been the one primarily responsible for taking care of my parents to avoid stressing them out. One of my brothers plans to move back to India next year, but now, the burden is on me. My mother was uneducated and she particularly preferred my care to that of others. “
He added, “I’m completely torn. On one hand, the thought of leaving her alone in India was unbearable. On the other hand, I’ve tried to live back home twice (for 6 months in 2020 and for a full year in 2024) and I honestly struggled tremendously.”
He talks more about the obstacles he faced while trying to settle in India. The Reddit user also discussed his dilemma. He ended his post by asking for advice from other Reddit users.
What is social media saying?
One person said: “Sorry for your loss and the difficult situation you are in. If I may suggest, could you take 3 months off to be with your mother in India and then ask one of your siblings to do the same so that you can spend the next 6 to 9 months (depending on the number of siblings and the leave available to each). After that, you can take her back to the US for another 6 months until one of your soon-to-be-settled siblings in India stabilizes.” OP responded, “I really appreciate that you actually described the exact plan I was trying to implement. Unfortunately, the current visa situation makes it impossible. My visa stamp expires and due to the current backlog, I won’t be able to get an appointment until 2027, which means if I leave the US now, I may not be able to go back to work. While my brother could handle the first two months, I simply didn’t have the legal flexibility to get through the rest of the year. It’s mind-boggling that a logical plan on paper is completely thwarted by the reality of the H1-B visa system. “
Another said, “You have the answer. Do what brings peace to your soul. Blessings can move mountains.” A third commented: “Just stay with your mom. You will never regret the price you pay!” A fourth wrote: “Prioritize and take care of your needs. Your mom is an adult and she has a great life, you can now find her some local help to manage.”
(Disclaimer: This report is based on user-generated content on social media. HT.com has not independently verified these claims and does not endorse them.)
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