H-1B worker loses mother to cancer in India, misses final moments due to visa delays: ‘Will live with this pain forever’

An Indian-origin tech professional working in the US has shared a touching experience of being unable to see his dying mother, saying visa delays left him stuck with a decision. He called it “the biggest regret of my life.”“Gautam Dey works in the United States H-1B visa and described on LinkedIn how his mother died of stage 4 lung cancer while he was still trying to get an appointment to get his visa stamped to India.“I’m not writing this today as an engineer, I’m not writing this as an H-1B worker… I’m writing this as a son,” he wrote.He said his mother was hospitalized for 17 days, during which time he tried multiple times to get approval to travel, American Market reported.“My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She was hospitalized for 17 days. During that time I was desperately trying to get an appointment to get my visa stamped so I could see her,” he wrote.Dey moved to the United States in 2007 after being hired by a multinational company to work in professional software. He said he had spent years working, paying taxes and developing technology products under the visa system.“I’m not here to lower anyone’s salary. I was hired for my expertise, to solve serious software problems and fix vulnerabilities that need attention,” he said.But when his mother’s condition worsened, he said administrative delays made travel nearly impossible. He explained that leaving the United States without a visa appointment can have serious consequences, including loss of job and legal status.“If I traveled without an appointment, I could be stuck outside the United States for months. I could lose my job, legal status, and family status,” he said.He described multiple attempts to get an emergency appointment.“I sent my hospital documents to the consulate. It took me 26 days to get an appointment. I was refreshed, waiting, praying, hopeful. But time waits for no one,” he wrote.a painful decisionDay said he was forced to make a painful decision: stay with his mother or protect his family’s future in the United States.“So I was forced to make an impossible choice: stay with my dying mother. Or protect my children’s future. No one should be in this position,” he wrote.He ultimately failed to reach India in time. His mother died before he was able to travel.“I can only see her through the phone screen. I can only hear her voice through the phone. This will be the biggest regret of my life,” he said.In his post, Day said he was not blaming any country or system, but rather showing the emotional toll the immigration process takes.“This is not a political post. This is not blaming a country. It’s about the human cost that is rarely talked about,” he wrote.He added, “But dreams shouldn’t be a prison when your family needs you the most.”He also offers advice to young professionals considering working abroad.“To every young professional dreaming of the H-1B life: Think carefully. India is changing… You don’t have to measure success solely by leaving home,” he wrote.His post concluded: “Because no career dream should ever put you in a position where you have to choose between a mother’s final moments and your child’s future. I lost that choice. I will live with that pain forever.”