Categories: WORLD

‘Does she have money’: NRI founder slams online bullies for mocking her appearance, questioning her marriage to US husband

When Mumbai-born Rashmi moved to Austin, Texas, she hoped to build a life defined by her entrepreneurial drive and marriage to Matt. Instead, a simple photo on social media made her the target of “cruel” racist trolls. From being shamed for her appearance to strangers arguing about her “worth” as a wife, the dehumanization is relentless. In an interview with HT.com, Rashmi opened up about the emotional toll of being viewed as a “cow on the internet” and how she finally found the strength to stop shrinking herself. By building on her faith and family, she is now standing up to online hate to show other Indian girls that they don’t have to sacrifice their light for anyone.

Rashmi and her husband Matt. (Lashmi)

When did trolling start?

Rashmi told HT.com, “The trolling really started when I first started posting on X. I made what I thought was a completely normal post and included a picture of me and my husband. Somehow it went viral, but for all the wrong reasons. The comments were brutal and, to be honest, it caught me completely off guard. Eventually, it became so overwhelming that I stopped posting on X entirely.”

Also read: Indian CEO hits back at racist trolls: ’15 of my cousins ​​came here via H-1B and paid millions in taxes’

Six months later, Rashmi tentatively returned to social media, hoping the negativity had finally subsided. The initial response was encouraging, but the peace was short-lived. The atmosphere almost immediately turned toxic after she shared a romantic clip from her wedding. While the video went viral, it was followed by “extremely harsh” comments, reigniting the cruel prank she went on to escape.

What was your initial reaction to the troll?

“Honestly, I didn’t know how to react at first. My instinct was just to take the post down, which I did, but that doesn’t really stop it. Once something goes viral, it takes on a life of its own,” the entrepreneur told HT.com. She owns an Indian restaurant, 7 Monk’s Cafe, and a hotel management company, Reso Hospitality.

She recalled: “What I remember most is how exposed it made me feel. My phone started filling up with calls and text messages because so many people had seen it. Friends, family, even people I hadn’t spoken to in a long time were reaching out to me.”

Rashmi continued: “As women, we are already very hard on ourselves. We are constantly told to lose weight, look better, be more beautiful. But when thousands of strangers start pointing out everything about you, commenting on your marriage, your appearance, your worth as a person, it hits you in a completely different way.” Adding, “What bothers me the most is that I’m not even posting about beauty or trying to be controversial. I didn’t express an opinion or make some bold statement. I’m just sharing a normal moment in my life. This is just a picture of me and my husband, and somehow that alone is enough for people to tear apart my appearance, my relationship, and my value as a person.

Rashmi revealed that this cruelty often comes in the form of unfounded assumptions, with trolls suggesting that her husband is only with her for her wealth. Posts meant to celebrate her relationship with Matt are often met with scathing comments like, “He must be blind,” as strangers try to debunk her appearance.

“One comment that really stuck out to me was when people started comparing me to the Pot of Greed card from Yu-Gi-Oh! I used to own a comic book store so I knew the game, but suddenly someone posted this card next to my picture and made fun of my smile. I always thought I had a sweet smile and seeing thousands of strangers laughing at it made me very uncomfortable,” she told HT.com.

“Then the comments took a weird turn and people started arguing about my appearance as if I wasn’t a real person. Some would be like ‘What the hell does he see in her?'” while others would respond “She’s not that bad, I’d date her.” It felt terrible to read this because it was like I was no longer a person but something that people were judging and commenting on online. Honestly, it makes me feel like a bull on the internet. “

How do you deal with intense trolling?

Dealing with unprovoked backlash from strangers was a daunting ordeal, and for Rashmi, the impact of the backlash was huge. However, she refuses to let the noise drive her into hiding. Instead, she relied on the support of her family and drew strength from her faith to get through the crisis.

Through this journey, she came to a sobering realization: Living an open life on social media can bring both kindness and cruelty. Speaking to HT.com, Rashmi said she is gradually accepting this digital reality, choosing to focus on her goals rather than the “unfriendly” voices on the internet.

She shared, “It took a lot of conversations with my family, my husband, and honestly, a lot of conversations with God to figure this out. When you post online, you open yourself up to the public, and that means not everyone is going to be kind. It’s something I’ve had to slowly learn how to accept.”

The US-based Indian expat added: “What has helped me the most is grounding myself among people who really understand me. My family and husband remind me that the opinions of strangers on the internet do not define who I am or what my marriage is about. They see real life behind the photos, not just snapshots that people casually judge. “

“Over time, I’ve also learned to set boundaries. Sometimes that means stepping away from the screen for a while, and sometimes it means choosing not to engage at all. You can’t control what people say online, but you can control how much power you give those words and how you choose to respond.”

Why do you continue to post despite the backlash?

Rashmi revealed, “I also had to remind myself why I started sharing in the first place. I wasn’t posting to get approval from strangers. I share my life and story because I want to show more Indian girls that they can be anything they want to be. You can become a doctor, lawyer, artist, actor or entrepreneur. You can build a successful business, have a great marriage, and be married to a spouse who pushes you to grow and become better. “

“You don’t have to constantly shine less, be smaller, or compromise on others just to make them feel comfortable. When I focus on that goal instead of the noise in the comments, it becomes so much easier to move forward,” she continued.

Rashmi’s message to trolls:

“I’m going to be honest with the trolls. What you see on the internet is a small snapshot of someone’s life, not a full story. Behind every photo is a real person with a family, a marriage, and a life that goes way beyond the comments section,” she explained.

Her advice to other women:

Rashmi shared the advice she would give to other women. “If anything, this experience has made me even more determined to continue sharing my story. Because I know there are other girls watching who may feel like they have to shrink themselves or fit into some narrow-minded idea. you do not know. You can build a life that is completely different from what people expect. You can build a career, family, and relationships that make you proud. If it makes some people uncomfortable or makes them comment online, then that says more about them than you/me,” she told HT.com.

How does Matt react to the spoof?

My husband usually gives me space to handle things on my own, but he and my parents have been one of my biggest supporters. When this happened, I felt really guilty for dragging him into it. My intention was never for us to become a “controversial” couple on the internet. Mostly I just share about my restaurant, my business and my life,” she said, adding, “But he handled it in a very calm and supportive way. Most of all, I’m grateful that he’s proud to be married to a woman who wants to strike out on her own and forge her own path.

“The way he reacted also reminded me of the kind of people I wish we saw more of in the world. Men encourage women to grow, stand behind them when things get tough, offer protection when needed, but also provide space for their partners to have their own voices and identities. This support means everything. “

How did Rashmi and Matt meet?

Looking back at the beginning of their journey, Rashmi admitted that their love story began in the most modern way possible: a dating app. At the time, she was recovering from a previous relationship and was hesitant to return to the dating world. It was her mother who gently encouraged her to be open to new relationships.

Although Rashmi almost turned down Matt’s request because she thought she would end up marrying someone with a similar cultural background, Rashmi decided to take the plunge. That “yes” paved the way for a cross-cultural romance that she now describes as simply wonderful.

“We hit it off right from the first date. We talked for hours and it felt easy, which I didn’t expect. A few days later, he did something that stood out to me. He called me randomly, just to see how my day was going. It felt natural and thoughtful, and it showed me what kind of person he was,” she recalled in an interview with HT.com.

“As time went on, we kept building from there. We learned about each other’s cultures, families, and traditions. Our differences stopped being a barrier and became something we celebrated together. What started out as a date that I almost didn’t go on turned into someone I could build a life with.”

When asked if she wanted to add anything else about her situation and how to deal with online trolls, Rashmi told HT.com, “I think the biggest thing I’d like to add is that the internet can make it feel like everyone has an opinion about your life, your relationships, and your worth. But at the end of the day, those opinions don’t define who you are. Only you can define that.”

Also read: Italian scolds Indian woman who trolled her for marrying Kerala man: ‘Exposing our haters’

“For me, this experience actually made me stronger in a weird way. It reminded me that the people who really matter are the people who know you in real life. Your family, your partner, your friends and the community you build around you.”

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